torn to the iris

I feel as if there is so much commotion in my life i need to get away. I need to run away from it to reevaluate how i can deal with my problems and emotions. But is it the right thing to do? Is it the right thing to be stranded and feel overwhelm?? Running away never seems like the right option or even just hiding the emotions, which i mostly do. In a sense, hiding emotions is like suppressing the subconscious yet people and i do it because we do not want to deal with the emotions and pain. I think that is the problem everyone deals with innately. We tend to run away, a better solution, to the problem instead of sticking through it while feeling stranded. One solution i find is that maybe a person needs to endure and express their emotions and problems. After, resolving the problem then maybe they should reward themselves and evaluate their actions by taking a trip to contemplate, like a sort of a two to three day so called sabbatical.
Yet, this solution can only work for a limited time if the problem is still recurring. How can a person solve a problem which is being repeated?? I think it is so difficult to stop a problem like this because it is as if it is interwoven in a person thoughts or so called values of influence. Meaning the value of influence is like a person who is so part of your life yet you hate and love them at the same time. That no matter how much you say your going to change you still regress back ...now that is called history.
Think of it on a wider scale these sort of problems reoccur during interactions with different countries...
This is just a thought...

Does he really belong with me???

After months of agonizing myself that it was my fault i ruined two relationships from the past and still have mix feelings for two guys. For one guy it was because i loved him and the other one was just lingering left over feelings..i finally realize i'm over it..that i'm not blaming myself that everything was my fault and analyzing every wrong thing i might of said..
i feel so relived because i loved one guy alot but he always seemed to hurt me and break my heart..but today after texting him and discussing something that involved him and his girlfriend ..I realized i was genuinely happy for him, not a jealous happy but being really happy..
Maybe its a first step to the right direction..only time will tell yet i'm afraid i might take ten steps backwards if something will happen between me and the guy i love once again in the future when we are on the same page..but hey its life so whatever will happen will happen!!! Yet, for the guy with the lingering feelings it feels weird when i happen to see him on campus and we don't talk to each other for some strange reason..

Astor

Last week, my dog died from old age. I got him when i was 8 years old, we had our share of memories..it is very difficult for me to let go of him while realizing he is not going to be waiting for me when i come home from work or school. So I decided to post a picture of him... This picture was taken in Santa Monica when he was 8 months old and i nine years old...This post is dedicated to the most lovable, caring, cutest, funniest, mischievous, first pet i ever had..

I'm flying on blue

Sometimes when i go to formal events its so difficult to decided what i should wear. I always feel that everyday i wear formal clothes....In this picture i went to my friends wedding and i decided to pull from the depths of my closest my prom dress. I got my prom dress for 20 dollars from macy's..now that a bargain. I decided to match my blue dress with some green glittery shoes which are steve madde <333. My favorite part of this picture is my hair ..for once it is under control and looks sexy..if anyone still uses this word for hair?

Can i look into my eyes??

My friend and I went to a Honors Transfer Council of California at UC Irvine.

I was confused on what to wear to this event because i didn't know if i should go towards the path of formal wear or informal. I decided to do a mixture by wearing heals.

Black Pants= J Crew

White shirt=gilly hicks

Belt-abercrombie

scarf=Pac sun for 2. 99.yah!!!

shoes=unknown...

Once upon a sunday

Dress: Forever 21

Bag: Louis Vuitton Vintage

Sweater: Urban outfitters